How To Understand And Live By Your Values

Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be, have the courage to challenge your limiting beliefs and embrace who you really are with our Luxe life coach, Teresa Peters...

One of my greatest ‘peak moments in time’ is running through the Northumberland countryside, with my hubby and teenagers running or cycling by my side, as the leaves are turning from summer green to myriad shades of yellow, gold, orange, red and brown.

If you were to ask me, ‘What’s important to you about this?’, I’d reply, my family, health, love, connection, positivity, freedom, adventure, and challenge. These are defined as my ‘move towards values’.

If I was asked, ‘What state/situation would you do almost anything to avoid it happening?’ I’d reply, being unwell, letting my family down, not being independent or financially free, making anyone unhappy and not being true to myself. These are defined as my ‘move away from values’.


What are values?

Your values represent your core beliefs. Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They determine your priorities and deep down they are probably the measures you use to tell yourself if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

Of course, there are common values among everyone, however the first things to remember are:

1. Values are not what we like but what is important to us.

2 . Every person has values.

3. Every individual’s set of values is different from another’s.

4. There are no right or wrong values.

5. Each value has a different meaning to each of us.

Frequently, we’ll set goals and make decisions based on everything but our values. We are surrounded by people who have expectations of us, and often we set goals in order to meet their expectations.

The impact increased self-awareness has on you or your business can be ten-fold. Once you elicit your values and limiting beliefs, with a highly trained coach who explores with you on a deeper level, there’s no stopping you!

I’m about to share something deeply personal because I’m a big believer in being authentic. I stopped drinking alcohol June 2020. What triggered me to feel motivated to do this was listing my values in order and how I lived by these each day.

When I was honest with myself, I realised that I spent more time drinking wine than exercising or getting out with my family doing what I love most. I channelled my boundless energy into growing my coaching company, challenging myself, becoming financially free and being present with my family.


A values elicitation exercise

You know I love sharing tools so why not grab a pen and notebook to delve a little deeper as we work through the rest of this together.

What’s important to me about… business, health, relationships, career… Keep repeating the question until you exhaust your list.

Another way to elicit values is to think back to a time when you were extremely angry, frustrated or upset – perhaps you felt trapped or bored. This could highlight that your opposite values are freedom or challenge.

I invite you to write freely with thoughts about what you can’t live without. What are these values? This may include reading because you have a love of learning or kissing each of your family before they leave the house.


What are beliefs?

Essentially beliefs are rules that we live our lives by. Beliefs are stories we tell ourselves, in our mind’s eye. They are things that we perceive as facts even if they aren’t true, and they are things that will either empower us, liberate us, or hold us back.

If you have an empowering belief that’s going to generate positive behaviours and if you have a belief that limits you, you’re going to generate behaviours that also limit you.

I explored my own personal beliefs with my coach (every accredited coach usually has a coach and supervision) and recognised that I could on occasion be a ‘people pleaser’.

My need to please served me as a child growing up when I had to meet adversity head on, but it now no longer serves me as an adult. Reframing this belief has helped me to grow as a person, mother, wife, friend and as a business owner.

Raising your self-awareness gives you more choices and that leads to changes in behaviour, changes in your decision making and enables you to achieve much greater things.

As humans we are destined to perpetually develop and there is no end to human perfection. If we align our lives and work with our empowering beliefs and core values, we can find our purpose and feel truly fulfilled.

What beliefs and values have you uncovered? How will you embrace these changes as we move from the warmth of summer and green leaves to fading sunlight and cooling air, met with autumnal oranges, reds, and yellows?

Teresa Peters is accredited as a Senior Level Practitioner international coach and team facilitator. To find out more, visit

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